Tensions are high! And I mean high. Have you ever had a standoff with the delivery human every day for weeks on end? Here’s what happens: A human in a hat drives a big van up my driveway and parks in front of my house. The van is large and suspicious and sometimes comes from the Amazon, a very far drive. If that’s not bad enough, the human steps out of the van – yes, feet on my walkway – and comes right up to the window.
It gets so much worse from here. The human does not open the door or pet me or tell me I’m handsome to make up for intruding on my turf. Instead, he leaves a package, gets back in the suspicious van, and drives away. No treats, no goodbyes. It’s the rudest behavior I’ve ever witnessed, and the stress has been consuming me.
I tried to tell my pawrents, but they seem to like the human from the Amazon or wherever. They take the packages he leaves and adorn them with fancy paper and sparkly bows, which I do like to nibble on. Then, they give me a treat from my special treat bag: C-B-D, which means relaxation! These treats are tasty and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Then, poof! The delivery human is no longer a big threat. Maybe he’s even nice. Maybe he would pet me and tell me I am a very good boy if he got to know me.
I will eventually get to the bottom of this, but for now, I feel very nice. I would like to take a nap with my pawrents and have pleasant dreams about the delivery human, riding shotgun in his big van, wind in my fur.